I've never been robbed, I've never been mugged, but last night some cunt stole my phone outta my pocket in a club whilst I was sipping champagne, ha ha.
The only thing I've ever lost is my Virginity.
This was the second thing I've ever lost.
Hope you're happy with my phone, ya iCunt.
BTW, the password to my phone is.......Go Fuck Yourself.