Is it really necessary to get married if you're having a baby?
I am having a baby but getting married is not in my plan yet..
Now, here is the question that almost all my chinese friends asked me.
"Don't you care what the other people will think if you're having a baby but not married?"
"OMG! I don't care..."
Views: 583
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Shivani Heni (Shin) on -
Many cases in different ways to solve it but is you need to decide it:
1. Depend on that man and depend on you, if he is responsible so he will think for marry you and think about your future and baby. This is the luck if you get a man which is knowing how to responsible and think for your life and baby. Off course in this case, you both will work together to solve this matter and for baby.
2. If he is scare, he will ask you to abort the baby.
3. If both of you scare to born the baby so both of you will choose to abort it.
4. If you want the baby but that man don't want it so you will be a single mother without married with him. Be a single mother is not a bad thing, as long as you have a job and enough money to raise your baby. Talk about this to your parent, parent may understand even at first time they will angry to you. Don't care what other people say, it is better become a single mother than to do abortion.
5. if you cannot raise the baby but you don't want to abort it and you want to born your baby so give a birth and send to orphan house or find a foster family for your baby so your baby will have a good life with other family.
nb: Don't kill the little soul, baby doesn't do any wrong but you should think what you have done with your partner so about this, you know the answer who cause the baby come.
Many couples nowadays just knew to do sex and enjoy sex but doesn't care anything if suddenly baby is there in belly, many couples not responsible with everything they have done, everyone just knew to abort or kill the little soul, it is hurt when end their life, this is not good.
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Permalink Reply by Dang on -
No to abortion! me and my bf is in a good shape relationship... But i dunno if we could consider my situation as a single mom.
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Permalink Reply by Shivani Heni (Shin) on
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talk to your parents, i believe they may help you in this, but yes for surely you need to face their anger. If you and your bf is good relation so better get married, baby need mother and father to balance their emotion and mental life til they grew up. Anyway is your decision. If you still prefer be a single mother so talk and discuss this to your parents, take care a baby is not easy and need to do anything and extra time and yes money for their need and life and school and medical etcs.......just for kid. If you ready to face all and responsible all by yourself as single mother so go on and don't give up in this.
nb: must eat more good and healthy food, do check up always and vitamin from doctor, start to drink pregnancy milk for mother and baby. Avoid junk food and soda or cola or coffee and no spicy food, dont drink tea too much.
and another again: no alcohol, no smoke, no party much while you pregnant, and yes control your emotion and don't stress or angry too much, don't wear high heel,
you can try to listen slow music, classic one, is good for pregnant woman. always be happy and real think for your baby. 9 months to wait, not easy, so be patience.
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Permalink Reply by KēYánRénYuán on -
If you have already made your mind up, why ask the question? Are you seeking a justification or support for your stance?
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Permalink Reply by Paul on -
you should get married to do your best to provide a stable home for your baby!
What you want or like is nolonger the most important consideration. You had your run of freedom, now it is time to sacrifice what ever it takes for the best interests of your coming baby.
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Permalink Reply by Zyad Kyle 柯沙 on -
+1000
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Permalink Reply by Stinky Panda on -
YES,
Because that is the LAW.
At least from what i understand, children born outside of wedlock in China have less rights. You are also subject to the whims of local police/family planners if they find out you're not married (forced abortion, fines, etc?).
Finally, if the father is a foreigner it makes it sooooooooooo much easier to arrange stuff for your small family when you're married. Also the kid can get the foreign nationality much easier if parents are married (and have that document translated and certified).
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Permalink Reply by Jacob Hoff on -
If the regulations are like that, otherwise why get married. As the TS states why would you, if there are no regulations why not. Being married is (in my opinion) for those who want to, not a must. I would almost say it's even a bit dated. You can still live happily together without being married and without worrying he would take off.
Further yes the child could get foreign nationality (if its indeed a foreign father) but do you want that? Currently Chinese papers are not that convenient out of China but within China they make the difference between getting easy your child in a good school or paying serious money for it. This goes on till university, I think many foreigners (as well Chinese) oversee the problems that arise from having a foreign passport for your child.
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Permalink Reply by Stinky Panda on
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Jacob, i'm simply stating what i understand happens in China. Being a single mother (on paper) is very risky and those family planning government bureaus are crazy mofo's.
Good point about foreign nationality. Depends on your long term plan, stay in China or not. In any case if you are married it is still easier for the child to get the foreign nationality at a later stage.
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Permalink Reply by Stinky Panda on
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Dang, i forgot if you are Chinese or not.
If Chinese, best thing is to marry - heard too many horror stories of 'Family Planning' Officers being very intimitating and threathening with very high fines and even abortion.
If you're a foreigner, do what you please, but with special note that traveling and arranging other paperwork is still easier when you are married.
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